How to be assertive! But not TOO assertive
Your superior at work tells a racially insensitive joke and you want to speak up but fear repercussions. You have a political belief that departs from your family's traditions and you sit at the table biting your tongue. You negotiate your vacation time with your new employer. You feel depressed and you wish so badly to tell someone you love but the possibility that they will not be emotionally available or supportive scares you into secrecy. As human beings we are constantly put into positions where our boundaries and values get tested. We wish so badly to have the courage and self-worth to stand up for ourselves but sadly, many of us put other's needs above our own, causing resentment and an overwhelming sense of defeat. We punish ourselves for lacking a spine and vow to be more assertive the next time. We are trapped in what sociologists call a double bind. You are damned if you do. Doomed if you don't. If you speak up you risk being rejected but if you don...