My take on the anxiety epidemic

We human beings are safer now than we ever have been in the history of humans being. Yet we are also the most anxious that we have ever been. What gives? It doesn't seem like the threat matches the response.

Here is my opinion on the matter, thank you for asking.

First, I need to preface this rant by asserting that there IS such a thing as biologically caused anxiety. The right genetics + neurochemistry + neurological structure + environmental input (eg. health & nutrition) = generalized anxiety disorders that can often be remedied by medication, exercise, nutrition, and relaxation.

Second, there is also anxiety that is a direct result of maladaptive thinking patterns which through cognitive therapy can be unlearned, thus allowing the symptoms of anxiety to be managed and often eliminated. Having anxiety without symptoms is another way of saying you are a healthy, adaptive, average human being.

Neither of these two epidemiologies, in my humble opinion, account for the drastic tidal wave of anxiety that we're seeing in children, adolescents, and adults today. So who's to blame?

Well parents right? Parents these days are shipping their kids off to a million different activities and there's never any chance for them to "just be kids". They don't spend enough time with them, they use electronics as babysitters, they spend TOO much time with them, robbing them of their ability to self-regulate, they feed them junk and nobody makes their kids do anything anymore, which has turned today's children into spoiled, entitled brats who don't know how to take criticism....

But then there's school! Teachers give way too much homework to young children, stressing them out, not giving the chance to "just be kids", they don't allow for enough physical activity in the day, they don't monitor their rooms well enough leaving the children susceptible to bullies, they pick on "my kid" and favour other people's kids, and come to think of it they don't give nearly as much homework as I got when I was a kid, that's why kids are such spoiled, entitled brats who don't know how to take criticism.

So which is it? Do we just have more bad apples because our apple testers are more accurate? Or do we have bad apple barrels that are spoiling our apples?

Let me give you  my testimony from my vantage point. I meet with a lot of parents. Parents of some of the children with the most challenging behaviours and guess what? Parents are working so hard and sacrificing so much for their children. We can all improve in a million ways but for the most part, you parents are great!

And give the teachers a break! You should see how amazing they are and how much crap they put up with. I'm so excited for my daughter to go to public school next year because I know who her teachers are going to be and they are stellar! The programming and pedagogical approach of today's teachers is more than adequate. I'd love to see many changes in our education system but on the whole, teachers are great!

The epidemic of anxiety is at the macro level of society. Our barrel making and apple orchard systems are faulty and it sets parents and teachers up for a number of unnecessary challenges. And this is a system of which we are all a part and therefore we need to take some of the blame and responsibility for its remedy.

We are social creatures and we are raising our socially hungry children in a society that is increasingly cut off and fragmented. A child's social circle is far smaller now than it was 30 years ago. If your child is lucky they are on a sports team but even then there is much less opportunity for mingling than there would have been if you were going to church like your parents did. This is just one example, religion aside, when a larger portion of the population was getting together weekly with other families (whether church or whatever social group but most likely it was church) we had instant social networks that bolstered our families' abilities to raise connected children.

Our neighbourhoods used to be designed so that people would, you know, talk to their neighbours. The kids would come home from school and gather up their friends (by knocking on their doors or using the telephone) then they would play baseball or road hockey until supper time, eat, then go back to playing until dark. Now that's "too dangerous" so the few kids who are allowed to do that can't because no one else is. Getting together with friends after school requires so much planning tha it's like a birthday party each time. You need to arrange rides, supervision, sign the waiver, slice the grapes.
Kids need a healthy level of unsupervised play. At least a few moments where what they are doing is not planned and facilitated by a boring adult.
Our system also neglects our children when it comes to social skills. Parents and teachers are both working hard to "teach" their children social skills but my friends these are not skills that are easily taught. These are skills that are learned by doing and if their opportunities to socialized are limited to supervised playdates then they miss the chance to really internalize those skills.
Kids need to be frustrated with each other and then figure it out with each other. I'm not sure if there is anything more advantageous for a child these days to experience than a conflict that is resolved without adult intervention. But allowing them that chance is very scary for us adults, so we don't do it. It's gives us.... anxiety....

Wait a second. I thought it was the kids who had anxiety...