Why your kids should say penis and vagina

Do you remember getting in trouble for saying the word penis?  Whether it was a verbal warning, soap in the mouth, or "that look" that told you not to repeat that word again in public, many of you can probably recall the time that you found out that certain body parts were shameful.

I admit, hearing the names of genitalia come out of children's mouths is unsettling but when this happens we adults have an important teaching opportunity that we can't squander.

So your kid says vagina in public... you might be embarrassed... but let's consider the alternative and unfortunately more common result.

Kids learn that words like penis and vagina are shameful first because Mom and Dad won't even say them. Parents opt for "less threatening" euphemisms. Adults scoff and overreact if kids do use the actual words, reinforcing the idea that their genitals and the words for them are bad.

Then, from media or peers, kids learn new words to represent these body parts and the actions associated with them. These new words tend to be vulgar, objectifying, and hypersexualized.

Think of the difference between the words breasts and tits. Notice how much more sexualized it sounds when you use vulgarity? Now I don't have to explain to you how this works with the vulgarized versions of our sex organs.

The language we use is incredibly important. By using proper terms for body parts and sex acts we give sexuality the respect it deserves without turning it into vulgarity that we have to hide.

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