What an addictions therapist is doing working in an elementary school...
And now I'm an elementary school counsellor.
What business do I have working with children ages 6-11 given my background in addictions counselling? (Not to mention my lack of experience in play therapy which I'm working on).
I think one of the hardest parts of working with adults in recovery is that they are constantly lamenting the fact they felt neglected and overlooked as children in some significant way. Many felt that as kids they were not properly taught enough about emotional regulation. They may not have experienced a strong enough attachment with their caregivers or peers. In short, they can always trace the roots of their addictive behaviours to crucial missteps or misfortunes in their childhood.
If you aren't familiar with the work of Dr. Gabor Mate you need to do yourself a favour and pick up In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. There you will learn a framework of addiction that breaks from the popular script and tells a story of trauma, neglect, and disconnection.
People who have had Adverse Childhood Experiences are significantly more likely struggle with compulsive behaviours and addictive substances. Our best explanation for this is that young brains are actually rewired from traumatic experiences which can alter their neurological pathways in such a way that it is increasingly difficult, at times even impossible, for them to regulate emotions on their own. When someone with this deficit finds a substance or behaviour that can regulate those emotions for them there develops a bond that is simultaneously life saving and life condemning. Imagine if you went your entire life in constant discomfort until one day you find that drug, or drink, or sexual experience that alleviates the pain like you have never felt before. Of course you will go back to that experience and try to relive it as much and as often as possible. You soon become obsessed with reliving that experience to the point where the anticipation of the payoff is almost more pleasurable than the experience itself. In fact, your drug or behaviour starts to lose its potency. It's not the same as the first time. So you seek higher dosages or elevated experiences. You start taking more risks. You sacrifice time, money, and relationships all so that you can maintain the momentary feeling of relief that you are neurologically nearly incapable of feeling independently.
This is "addiction". It effects more of us than we think but it starts in childhood. The child has not (we hope) started to consume the addictive substance but the problem is less with the substance and more with the psychological and neurological damage caused by adverse experiences in childhood.
This is why I'm in an elementary school counsellor now. Everyday I work under the assumption that there is a significant population in my school that has experienced emotional/attachment trauma. Kids are resilient but their inability or unwillingness to work through attachment injuries now is highly likely to lead to emotional and behavioural problems in the future.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Emotional safety creates fertile ground for human flourishing. Their brains physically are wired in a way that gives them a better chance to regulate their emotions on their own (to an extent, let's remember that we're talking about children and all children will have well regulated days and not so regulated days).
This year for National Addictions Awareness Week don't forget to think of the children who are navigating through traumatic adverse experiences. Let's surround them with loving adults who can arm them with the psychological tools necessary to prevent addiction and promote flourishing.
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