Sympathetic Joy: an effective and free antidepressant

When it comes to interventions that can be used universally, or in other words, to large groups of people, I have always been a fan of teaching mindfulness and positive visualization exercises. This is where I would have people close their eyes, breath deeply, and visualize some kind warm pleasant thought that would highlight the positive that there is in their life. Sounds fine right? There was one glaring problem to this intervention...

It was self-centered... And so is depression.

When you focus on yourself and your own ideal life a potential side effect, especially if you struggle with the hopeless and meaningless thought patterns that coincide with depression, is that at best you temporarily escape only to return to your dreary reality, and at worst you increase the discrepancy between your expectations for your life and your actual situation. Depression is seeded deeply in unmet expectations. So for some people, this exercise made things worse.

Depression is the symptom to a collective ailment. It's an individual's reaction to a break in social connections. Like feeling hungry when there's no food in the village, we feel depressed when there is no connection in the village, and if not checked, we sink further and further into our selves, and away from the  most likely cure, which is connection and purpose within a community.

And then there is an intervention based on the Buddhist practice of "sympathetic joy". Leave it to ancient wisdom to give us the answer to our modern emotional woes.

Sympathetic joy is the practice of visualizing something wonderful happening... to someone else. Start with people you love. Imagine what it would be like for them to have their dreams come true. An early retirement for your Mom, a smash hit for your musician Dad, your brother-in-law surprising your sister with a trip to Honolulu. Sit and dwell on the joy that your loved ones would and could feel if things were a little different.

Then  you can move to people with whom you may be less acquainted. Imagine the grocery store clerk seeing her grandchild for the first time. Imagine your child's teacher getting a letter of gratitude from a previous student who just graduated from Med School. Imagine that neighbour across the street winning the lottery.

As we place our point of focus on other people we feel lighter, we feel more connected to those around us. We change our outlook and even our behaviour. We notice people. We engage with people. We become more curious about others and we care just a little bit more.

Want a bonus challenge? Think of people that you have a hard time liking at all. That boss you didn't get a long with or that friend that's not on speaking terms with you anymore. What could happen to them that would change their lives for the better? Imagine it. Imagine the smile on their faces.

Imagine your greatest detractors having unfounded success and celebrating with their families.

It works. Give it a try. 10 minutes a day.