How to get your gender stereotypes right

Gender stereotypes suck. They pigeonhole people into designated and sometimes undesired roles, they prevent good people from trying things they are interested in, and they can encourage shaming of anyone who breaks from the social mold.

This is coming from a man who likes romantic music, being creative in the kitchen, and spending most of my waking time with children. Stereotypes would label me as feminine. I reject that notion, not because being feminine is undesirable but because I don't think femininity should have the market cornered on domestic activities. I am a MAN that loves to do these things. I'm not motherly, I'm a father. 

That being said, I have to recognize that if you took a sample of 100 human beings who enjoyed cooking, playing with kids, and listening to Josh Groban, the likelihood that the majority would be female is high. It would be naive to deny the reality of these gender differences. It would be even more foolish to think we need to enforce them as if they were decreed from the universe. 

I believe there is some merit to having a frank discussions about gender stereotypes vs gender realities and how we can use them to make the world a better place.

For example, if I told you that one gender, in general, was more physically aggressive, more disagreeable, less likely to formulate a problem before attempting to solve it, and more interested in objects than people, AND  if you then had to select someone to be your manager or political leader based solely on the information regarding their gender... which would you pick?

Deciding who should be the CEO or MLA based solely on gender would be textbook sexism and irresponsible use of stereotyping. But really, if that were the only information you had, wouldn't you pick the person who is of a gender that makes them more likely to prefer working with people, formulating problems before solving them, is less physically aggressive, and more likely to work collaboratively? (Hint: I'm talking about women here).

Genders are far more alike than they are different but they are STILL different. So if you're going to take the position that women should not be promoted or voted for because of the stereotype then I would argue that the realities of gender differences actually make women (painting with a broad stroke here) more qualified to lead, or perhaps it would be better to say, qualified to lead in a different, sometimes needed way.

Let me be clear, I believe strongly that every individual should be judged AS an individual based on their individual skills, experience, etc. but I'm also aware that we have biases, most of which lie beneath our awareness, that effect how we make judgments on people (not exclusively biases on gender). We should be aware of our biases and be objective as possible but also cognizant that most of our biases work outside of our awareness.

So if you're going to have a stereotypical bias, at least make it slightly more accurate. We need more female voices in politics BECAUSE their perspective is slightly different from the male voice, and valuable in a different way. We need more male voices in elementary education BECAUSE their perspective is slightly different from the female voice, and valuable in a different way. Speaking generally of course.

Don't be a slave to the stereotype but if you vehemently prescribe to the exact opposite of it in defiance, you might be disappointed.