Greedy for meaning...

We live in a capitalist society. There are a few harsh realities that go with the capitalist flow. Primarily that while this system is effective at mobilizing and motivating many people to grow and work hard, the truth is that we are all vying for a portion of the same pie. Yes the pie gets bigger and bigger but ultimately, your financial well-being, your quality life relies just as heavily on someone else's misfortune as it does your own fortune.

Think about it. You do well in school. You work hard. You gain a post-secondary education. You dream of owning a home and raising a family. You become a professional, let's say a teacher. In this system you should be able to live comfortably, provide for your family, and enjoy a modest quality of life as long as you keep working hard... right? Well that depends on the distribution of incomes in your market. In a normal distribution your salary should put you close to all central tendencies ie.mean (average), median (the actual midpoint), and the mode (the most frequently occurring). You earn roughly what most people earn and should be able to afford the same kind of life that most people can afford.

In some areas of the country the distribution skews negatively, or in other words, a lot of people earn lower wages for whatever reason. Maybe there the town has a lot of entry level work in factory or farm for example. This drives the mean (avg) salary down but propels your salary closer the other extreme. You're earning the same income but in this town you are making more money that a large portion of your neighbours. Since they can't afford certain amenities, like a nice sized house for example, your dollar now goes farther in this town than the one mentioned before. Having more households that make less than you makes your wealth greater. See why some people are so adverse to a higher minimum wage or guaranteed income? As the poor escape poverty in large portions you actually lose some of your piece of the pie or rather the piece you had doesn't count as much as it used to.

The opposite is also true of positively skewed distributions. If you live in Vancouver or San Francisco and you're a teacher you might realize that since there are so many people earning far more than you, your meager teacher's salary is no longer enough to buy that house you dreamed of having. 

We all dream of having a high quality of life and we (or at least I) have often looked for money to get us there. I can't count the amount of times I would fantasize about winning the lottery (which is literally impossible seeing as how I haven't once ever bought a single ticket). But remember the only reason that money gives us what we want is because it is considerably more than the average person in our neighbourhood.

The economy of meaning:

But then you study positive psychology. Now all of a sudden you find the root of all happiness that you become so driven to pursue. You find out that the commodity that really brings true joy is not money but meaning.

Martin Seligman defines meaning as, "knowing what your highest strengths are and using your signature strengths and virtues in the service of something much larger than you are.”

I want it. I need it. I have a lot already and I'll stop at nothing to get more. But here is the interesting thing about meaning. It is not a finite resource. I feel truly rich. Like the Clampett's from Beverly Hills, I feel like I was born on a reservoir of true psychological and spiritual gold (or oil in their case). But not one ounce of meaning and purpose that I have been able to mine and process in my own life has come at the cost of someone else' well-being. I don't need to take yours to add to mine.

I am so grateful for the hand I was dealt. Allow me to indulge myself for a moment. My parents are not perfect but I think they came the closest to the parents I needed as possible. My siblings on the other were and are perfect as far as I'm concerned. I had the best childhood friends. I hate to list names because I will exclude so many but Rylan, Jerimy, Ashleigh and our whole gang were truly something special and I think about you guys all of the time. I wouldn't have wanted to grow up anywhere other than Mackenzie, B.C.  

Considering how dorky I was, high school should have gone way worse for me but it didn't. I'm pretty sure there were rough times but I have nothing but fond memories of Kelly Road (which I've heard is getting replaced). Hayden and Charlotte especially kept me tethered to at least the illusion of having friends.

I grew up in a church that gave me an instant community that was both vast and intimate. I had values that kept me in a direction that led to my ultimate goals. I had constant opportunities to be involved in initiatives that I felt were truly helping other people and I got to do that alongside peers who had similar goals as I did. I was a missionary for two years which gave me a chance to meet hundreds of people I would have never met otherwise and develop a brotherhood that I don't think I'll ever be able to match. I learned Spanish which has opened the doors of communication to potentially millions of new people and consequently sparked my love of learning other languages and broadening my potential friend pool.

I'm married to a beautiful and humble partner who supports me and cheers for me. I have two daughters who taught me what meaning and purpose really means. I thought my life had purpose before them. That's like me feeling rich when I made $8/hr at Wal-Mart. I had no idea.

I do work that is incredibly meaningful to me. I get paid to forge relationships with children who in some cases don't have any. I have been inserted in some form or another into the life story of who knows how many people. Even if it's a footnote. I'm there. I'm so fortunate to do the work I do.

I am spiritually loaded. I feel like the Bill Gates of meaning. And guess what... I want more. I have a disease and the only cure is more meaning.

I dream about the books I want to write. The initiatives I want to start. The speeches I want to give. I want to support new mothers and fathers so that lives can start as best as possible. I want to help families be more prepared for death and illness so that lives can end as best as possible. And I want to figure out everything in between.

Who's with me?

p.s (bonus points if you can guess how many cry breaks I had to take as I typed this out)

Here is a link to a quiz called the VIA Survey of Character Strengths wherein you find your signature strength (you have to sign up first before you take the quiz). Below that is a list of some attributes of people who are strong in certain signature strengths. This can give you an idea of what you can offer and how you can offer it so that you can live your life with more meaning.



Strengths of Wisdom and Knowledge:

·         Creativity (originality, Ingenuity)

·         Curiosity (interest, novelty-seeking, openness to experience)

·         Open-Mindedness (judgement, critical thinking)

·         Love of learning

·          Perspective (wisdom)

Strengths of Courage:

·         Bravery

·         Persistence (perseverance, industriousness)

·         Integrity (authenticity, honesty)

·         Vitality (zest, enthusiasm, vigour, energy)

Strengths of Humanity

·         Love

·         Kindness (generosity, nurturance, care, compassion, altruistic love, ‘niceness’)

·         Social intelligence (emotional intelligence, personal intelligence)

Strengths of Justice

·         Citizenship (social responsibility, loyalty, teamwork)

·         Fairness

·         Leadership

Strengths of Temperance

·         Forgiveness and mercy

·         Humility and modesty

·         Prudence

·         Self-regulation (self-control)

Strengths of Transcendence

·         Appreciation of beauty and excellence (awe, wonder, elevation)

·         Gratitude

·         Hope (optimism, future-mindedness, future orientation)

·         Humour (playfulness)

·         Spirituality (religiousness, faith, purpose) 4)