Connection: the Meaning of Life

Here it is folks. The meaning of life. Of course, when we ask this question we are generally asking more for the purpose of life. Why am I here? Where am I going? etc. Today I am looking at it more in the sense of the significance of life. What is the element or elements that make our lives meaningful? In my opinion, life is significant when it is connected. Dr. Brene Brown said, “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” Social and spiritual connection creates context in our lives. Reference points that illustrate where we are in relation to others. Our connections show us the place we hold. One letter typed on your screen is devoid of meaning but when connected to others it plays an important role in communicating a message. We all seek meaning in our lives. Depending on our age and circumstance, this might be a high priority or deep in the back of our conscious but we are all constructing meaning and significance as we progress through this story that is called our lives. Developmental psychologist Erik Erikson divided human life into various stages in which we attempt to achieve a psychosocial task. The last of which gaining a sense of “ego-integrity” before we die. This means that in the end, one of the most important tasks we work on in finding how our lives are integrated into the narrative that is the world we live in. What was the significance of our life? In other words it could be said that the meaning (purpose) of life is to find the meaning (significance) of your life and as stated before I believe that life is significant when connected. I will return to Brene Brown’s quote above. Connection is an energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued. Think of a time when you were talking with someone and you said, “THIS PERSON GETS IT… or more importantly GETS ME”. We might get this same feeling from other sources as well. That feeling you get when you hear your favourite song. It moves you because it is speaking to something very deep and meaningful inside. It is highlighting a spiritual connection between you and someone or perhaps something thing or some idea. You might feel this way at in nature, as you contemplate in awe the beauty of the world of which you are a significant part. A smile from a child. An unexpected thank you. A moving line of scripture. Making love. These are all times when we connected with someone or something else. When I first decided to move from teaching to counselling a lot of people would try to scare me off with threats like, “How could you sit there and listen to people complain all day long?” That’s true. I hate that. But the reality is, (and I’ll be honest that I still haven’t been doing it for that long) I never have that experience. People don’t just show up to counselling to complain. People come to counselling to be real. Maybe in their lives they don’t feel safe to say what is really on their minds or in their hearts. So it has been my experience that when people are real and vulnerable and transparent, there is an almost instant connection that is immensely significant to me. I was hoping to actually give some ideas as far as fostering connection but I think it really boils down to that last point. Are you able to be real and vulnerable? Are you able to be with someone who is being real and vulnerable? Are you safe? These interactions are very enriching because it speaks to your place in the universe. It strengthens your connection with yourself, with humanity, and with your higher power. I've included a youtube clip of a song that always reminds me of my place in this world. This isn't my favourite version but it's still good. Especially the last minute. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8MbJAU8hDo