What it means to flourish after recovery

The name of my blog is “From Recovery to Flourishing”. I think it’s time I explain my logic.

When I think of the word recovery I think of illness, injury, and addiction. I think of an event or condition that has caused considerable distress or trauma. Recovering from one of these conditions is of utmost importance and urgency. If you were drowning, recovery is getting out of the water to safety. Those who struggle with addictions, especially process addictions like sex or food or spending typically take between 2 – 5 years of individual and group therapy to achieve and sustain their recovery. Dry land. A healthy relationship with the behavior that used to be toxic…. So then what comes after that?

Positive Psychology is a movement dedicated to better understanding optimal living: that which makes life great rather than manageable. While treating illnesses is necessary and noble, Positive Psychology aims to understand and promote flourishing.

The following are the five elements of flourishing and how they relate to people dealing with process addictions. The sole pursuit of each element can be problematic but together they constitute the “good life”. Included are links to paradigm shifting talks on each topic:

1) Positive Emotion – While happiness does not paint the entire picture of a great life it does play an important role. Someone who has recovered may have dealt with the pain and discomfort of abandonment, abuse, or addiction. They may feel less depressed or have managed the discomfort of withdrawals. But is life about the absence of pain? There are specific techniques that can be applied that can not only increase someone’s subjective well-being but sustain that increase over significant periods of time. There is a science of happiness.

2) Engagement – Usually the acting out or the preoccupation involved in addiction eats up a large portion of someone’s day. In recovery, the addict has limited or eliminated acting out behaviors and now spends little to no time obsessing about those behaviors. So what do they spend their time doing now? Flow is what Positive Psychology calls it when you are so engaged in an activity that you lose track of time. Many people experience flow when engaged in hobbies or sports maybe you’re lucky enough to experience flow at work on a regular basis. Either way, flow is helps us feel better, think better, and have a true sense of competence.

3) Relationships – When asked what Positive Psychology was about in two words or fewer, Christopher Peterson said, “other people.” Our big human brains are social problem solvers and not physical problem solvers. It is my belief that if there were one purpose of human life it is to connect with others. Meaningful connections happen when souls communicate. When someone can be vulnerable with another person. The recovered addict may have mended relational fences. Relationships have the potential to flourish after recovery because it is rebuilt upon a foundation of transparency, authenticity, trust, and vulnerability. Human life thrives when connected to others.

4) Meaning or purpose. The sense of being a part of something bigger than you are. Flourishing involves truly living and not just existing. People spend time, effort, and money to recover from addictions and it can provide a lot of meaning. What happens when that pursuit is on the back burner? What’s in your hand?

5) Accomplishment. Overcoming an addiction is a huge mountain to climb and getting to the top is very rewarding. Don’t stop there! This isn’t necessarily about making it rich or famous. Don’t ask what you would do if you knew you wouldn’t fail. Ask, what is worth doing even if you failed? Be a living legend.